Mirror, Mirror — September 17, 2013

Mirror, Mirror

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” We all remember this phrase from our beloved Snow White. As a child, I wondered why would the Queen need to ask a magic mirror to tell her who was the fairest? Now, as an adult, I believe that we’ve all at some point asked our own “magic mirror” some very important questions. Our modern-day mirrors can be anything from television to our own associates and the answer remains the same, “there is one fairer than thee.” (I think that’s how it goes). There are so many suggestions in the world that make us feel like we’re just not pretty enough, tall enough, or even curvy enough. From plastic surgeries, diet pills, and dare I say it, booty shots! Natural beauty just doesn’t cut it anymore.

Growing up, I was always told that I was beautiful, smart, and many other great things from my family. They gave me a sense of confidence, but as a I grew up and moved out my own, my confidence began to fade. I once had a good friend tell me, “you would look so much better with more make-up, and cover up those dark bags under your eyes.” Granted, I did feel prettier with more than my normal make-up, but those comments broke my spirits. Was I not enough?

I started comparing myself to other women thinking, “if only I looked more like her or had a specific feature like her.” Smiling on the outside, no one knew that on the inside I was battling with my own insecurities. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know that I was lacking in the self-love department. Sad to say, but my self-esteem was affected by everything and everyone around me. Sounds crazy, right? Like Katt Williams says, “it’s the esteem of yourself!”

I recently attended an event where a young lady from my church spoke about confidence. She said something that actually inspired this post. “When you speak negatively about yourself, you’re talking about God. He made you in His image!” Think about it, God made you for a purpose and it is not to please any one but Him. You have to dig deep and find your self-love, look in that mirror and answer your own question. You are the most beautiful, the smartest, and the most loving person because He made you that way!

One more thing, let’s be careful in the way we speak to each other. Take time to build up someone else, words can either hurt or help us!

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Life and Love — September 9, 2013

Life and Love

As I prepare to celebrate my 25th Birthday, (ahem, again) this year is a tad bit different for me. This time around I am not only thankful for my life but this will be my first birthday I will get to celebrate with my son! I can remember as a little girl I always looked forward to my birthday because it was all about me. Now, not so much.

This year I’m focused on the people that have gone on to be with the Father and how their lives have affected mine. I believe that regardless of how we feel, God takes his children from us once they have fulfilled their purpose. This was not something I understood the day I got the call that my grandfather lost his battle to cancer. I was angry with God, out of all people why did it have to be my papa? He was one of the greatest men I have ever known. I felt like he didn’t deserve the pain and suffering that he endured, but not once did he complain20130909-185854.jpg

In honor of my Papa, I wore blue boots under my dress the day I married my love. Papa was a cowboy and his favorite color was blue so I could not resist! As the sun shined brightly on us, I felt a sense of peace as if Papa approved and was on the opposite side of my Daddy ready to give me away. It was now time for me to let go, he taught me to stay faithful to God, keep my family first, and work hard! I could not have asked for anything more.

Among all the other specials moments we had at our wedding, there is one I will never forget. One of our honored guests missed her opportunity to walk the aisle with the other honorees. She waved it off as no big deal but we insisted that she would be acknowledged. At our reception my husband shared his last dance with his very special Aunt, she lost her battle to cancer months later. We traveled to Tennessee for her memorial service and it was one of the most beautiful funerals I have ever attended. Many people stood before us to share their memories of her from childhood stories to her famous meatballs. I laughed, smiled, and cried happy that she was no longer in pain and yet still a little saddened that I didn’t get the chance to know her better. She left a legacy and touched many people, I aspire to live a life as hers so that when it’s my time to go I’ll be able to say I made a difference as she did. The memory of her life alone has changed my life.20130909-185810.jpg

We looked through our wedding pictures soon after she passed searching for all of the pictures we had of her, and this is what we found.  I felt like this was God’s way of showing us that she’s watching over us.  Just look at how the sun’s shining on her.  We didn’t lose her at all, we gained another angel!

Fairytale Love, Now What? 5 Tips for a Successful Relationship —

Fairytale Love, Now What? 5 Tips for a Successful Relationship

20130923-142108.jpgOkay, so you’ve found your Prince Charming and he’s everything you could have ever imagined. Your life is finally perfect, right?! Well, not exactly.

Like most people, I thought that once we got married everything would magically fall into place. I imagined that our love alone would conquer all. The truth is, the only thing that changed was my last name, and the fact that we said our vows before God. Everything that we disagreed and argued about still lingered. While I was expecting unicorns and butterflies, we were literally “booting up,” (as my husband says before a game of Call of Duty) for war.

I’ll say out loud what no one else will, Marriage can at times be hard!!! Think about it, two people, from two different families, with different beliefs have to become as one. In every argument I felt like I was right and he was wrong, disregarding everything he said and he felt the same. Love does not come easy! It is something you have to really work hard to maintain.

Here are 5 of the most important things that helped our relationship…

5. Time apart

It is very important to not lose yourself in your mate. Keep healthy friendships, maintain your hobbies, and of course quiet time alone is always good.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

4. Trust

Do not let insecurities ruin your relationship. Have faith in your mate.

3. Open mind

In order to compromise, you have to have an open mind. Listen and truly consider what the other person is saying or suggesting. You can’t be right all of the time.

2. Pride Check

You have to check your pride at the door. You will have to say, “I’m sorry” or, “You’re right,” more often than you think.

1. God

God is Love, without Him a great relationship is completely impossible. Pray about your relationship daily!

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love.

Love is Patient…..well sort of! — September 3, 2013

Love is Patient…..well sort of!

imageI remember my 24th Birthday quite vividly. I reserved a private section with bottle service for me and my closest friends at my favorite nightclub, The Horn. I had on the cutest dress and the perfect up do, exciting right? I arrive around 10:30 expecting everyone to be there and to my surprise my best guy friend Kenny was the only one there.

I tried my best to keep my composure and have a good time as the phone calls and text of regret started to come in. Soon there after, tears started to flow as I began to explain to Kenny how unhappy I was with my life. At 24 I thought I was behind, that I should be married or at least in a committed relationship. Obviously uncomfortable with all the tears, Kenny calmly said, “You can’t rush God’s timing, our plans don’t always fall inline with His ultimate plan. Trust God and if marriage is what you want and what He has for you, He will fill that void”.

Needless to say, I took his advice and focused on me and my relationship with the Man above. Fast forward a year later, I was invited to one of my best girlfriends house for a July 4th BBQ. I met the most handsome guy there and he was totally giving me “the look”! I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him, it was truly love at first sight. We dated for a while and he turned out to be everything that I had prayed for and I was so in love.

I always say that 4 is our special number. We met on the 4th, and could you believe that my knight in shining armor proposed to me 4 months later?? It was the perfect proposal from the man God made perfect for me! I had waited all my life for this moment and it was totally worth the wait!!!

Bonjour Blackbird

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